Fun and Fast Without the Flash
The Lamborghini Countach was a one-of-a-kind car. It burst on the scene in the mid 1970’s with a mission to make every teenage boy foam at the mouth with desire. Its sharp lines, rocket ship-like appearance, and protruding air scoops made the car look otherworldly. The future was here, and there hadn’t been anything like it ever before.
There are a lot of cars that are styled aggressively, look like they came out of a Syfy movie, or just scream “look at me!” They add flair to our everyday lives. They catch our eyes. They open up our imaginations. But rarely are those types of cars driven every day. Those curves, intakes, and spoilers are usually reserved for the serious performance car.
Still, there are quite a few usable every day cars that clearly state, “I go faster than the other guy”. Things like black accented grilles and side skirts, red stitched leather seats, and larger wheels all hint at performance.
Then, there are still other cars that are completely unassuming. There may be a surprising amount of fun and performance to be had, all in a package that whispers, “I sit in the back seat of the classroom every single day”. These are the assassins of the automotive world. They’re the most dangerous. They’re what we call, “sleepers”.
Here’s our list of the five best cars that won’t bore you to sleep during your daily commute… but certainly look like they might:
Genesis G90 5.0/Kia K900
If you haven’t heard of Genesis yet, it’s probably about time you did. Hyundai has been coming up in the world for years now, and they want you to pay attention! They formed Genesis, a whole new arm of their automotive brand, and they made it quite the contender in the car world. Equipped with an optional 5.0 Liter, V-8 engine, one of their top cars, the G90 will do 0-60 in a tad over 5 seconds. That’s not bad for a car that weighs nearly two and half tons. The car also looks good, though there aren’t any unusual protrusions or go-fast parts to indicate its potential. Even more than performance, you get a bargain. Undercutting its competition by thousands, it’s the true “executive sleeper” in this group. Oh yeah, it also has an even more mundane looking cousin, the Kia K900. With the same drivetrain, the K900 also just goes about its business on the road, but somehow, with even more poise and even less frill.
Volkswagen Golf R
Everybody knows what a Volkswagen Golf looks like. Everyone also knows that the GTI version looks noticeably sportier. What everyone doesn’t see is the difference between the GTI and Golf R when you put them side by side. The engine in the two is even identical, of course with the Golf R being tuned to produce a much more dramatic driving experience. The GTI isn’t a slouch by any means, but as far as the modern hot hatch, it falls pretty much in line with what you’d expect. The R competes with the likes of the Civic Type R, Audi RS3, and Focus RS. You’d just be standing there thinking it was a lowly, everyday hot hatch though… Surprise, surprise!
E63 AMG Wagon
Coming to you from the fine, and often crazy engineers at AMG, I present to you the most “sleeper” looking wagon on the planet. Don’t get me wrong, the E63 wagon doesn’t look bad, but it certainly doesn’t look like 603 horsepower fast. The only differentiating details on the car from the “lesser” trims are a few subtle AMG badges. While wagons are preferred much more by the European market, there are also only a handful that have made it to the States. Doug Demuro has one. Granted, they are quite expensive to buy when new, but let’s face it… It’s almost kind of worth it when you can destroy your buddy’s new Mustang GT and a set of tires at the next red light… in a station wagon!
BMW Alpina B6 Gran Coupe
I have to admit that I’d never heard of the Alpina B6 Gran Coupe until about 3 months ago when I spotted one at a Cars and Coffee event. After the owner proceeded to tell everyone what the car could do, I didn’t believe him. I seriously went online and checked a few sources to verify what he said about his BMW. While the B6 looks like a sporty BMW sedan with the typical, swoopy, coupe-esque roof line that’s so popular in sports sedans now, it doesn’t really make you think twice about it. If you did, you would quickly find out that the car sprints to 60 miles per hour in less than four seconds. Think of it as an undercover agent who has received BMW’s famed “M” treatment without looking like it has. With 600 horsepower under the hood and an all-wheel-drive system to put all that power to the pavement, the car doesn’t even have a hood scoop! Have fun finding one of these elusive creatures, and when you do, have fun being embarrassed by it when you challenge the driver to a “fun” little race between the lights.
Chevy SS
In my opinion, the SS is the ultimate sleeper. It quite literally looks like a Chevy Malibu with a few cosmetic changes. And… it has a Corvette engine under the hood. It isn’t on the same luxury level as the Gran Coupe, and it’s not even designed to be as upscale as the Genesis. It is designed to be a pure bundle of joy and subtlety. One other thing… you can get it in a manual transmission! Can it get any better? Of course! Because of the 6.2 liter LS engine under your hood, your friends will see you get in your Malibu… uh, SS, and will probably have to change their outfits as soon as you turn the key to your practical, boring, midsize family sedan because of the glorious, and unexpected sound of the exhaust. As you leave the parking lot in a cloud of smoke produced by the 415 horsepower at your disposal, nobody will be thinking that your Malibu… dang it… your SS is anything short of extraordinary.
So, that’s our list of the best sleepers that you can buy today. The visual appeal for a sports car will always be in demand. Something inside of us needs to be a little different than the “average guy” in the “average car” next to us. A few black accents here and there do give a car a meaner look. Don’t get us wrong, functional spoilers and splitters can also look good if done correctly on the right car. Let’s not overlook the power of surprise though. Sometimes subtlety is desirable, because not everyone likes to stick out in a crowd. Just don’t come crying to us when you can’t dust any of these “average” cars in the eighth mile.
–SWF
